Staying Positive

I love this country.

I have been sick and injured for the past two weeks, solid. Pre-Service Training (PST) is stressing me out, as usual. I'm hungry, thirsty, and extremely tired. And yet, as I walked home from where the routiera dropped me off, I noticed me shadow stretched out in front of me.

I have tended to be a poet, in the past. Perhaps this is a continuing trend. In any case, I could not help but think, as I observed my casually elongated profile pacing the ground before me, that Moldova (or perhaps someOne) was trying to tell me something. For me, a poet, shadows usually symbolize memories and the past; but here, in the rural landscape of a Moldovan sunset, my shadow crosses the ground ahead of me -- the future, quite literally.

The decision to join the ranks of Peace Corps volunteers and wander off into the developing world was not an easy one, though perhaps too many of us realize this simple fact only after weeks have passed without State-side-quality sanitation, infrastructure, communication, and so forth. I joined because "it felt like the right time," and I still hold to this. But I admit, now, that I had no idea what that really meant, and means still. It means that I am in a completely different place, no matter how similar the climate, the wine, or the people. It means that I am apart from my friends and family, without whom I would have been abysmally without hope, long ago. It means that I can't go see Sigur Ros in concert, when they pass through Portland in October. It means that more responsibility and more expectations rest on my shoulders than ever before. And it means that every day is a challenge.

But seeing that shadow walking in front of me caused me to pause, and to think, and to look around. Moldova is an amazing country, and I consider myself entirely lucky to be here.

For a long time, I have wanted to live on a vineyard. Today, as I looked out over rolling hills covered with grape vines, it occurred to me that I have realized this dream, simply by living within the borders of the remarkable vineyard known as Moldova. Of course, Moldova is so much more than its wine, but this thought brightened my day. It made the particular challenges of the past two weeks seem worth the sweat.